Let’s face it, the Superman movies wouldn’t be the same if it weren’t for the involvement of one Lex Luthor, also known as “the greatest criminal mind of our time.” When Gene Hackman signed on to play the part, he brought with him a combination of humor and intelligence that complemented his evil genius. Across three films he stole the scenes right out from under his co-stars. So let’s take a few minutes and see the world through some of Luthor’s words of wit and wisdom…

Self-Identification

“How would you choose to congratulate the greatest criminal mind of our time? Do you tell me that I’m brilliant? No, that would be too obvious, I grant you. Charismatic… fiendishly gifted…”

“How do they choose to reward Lex Luthor, the greatest genius in this world? Do they give him glory, do they give him treasure? What, in matter of fact, do they give him?”

“He’s a little bit anxious, can you blame him? Not one of your great thinkers. But I, in all modesty, am.”

“Mind over muscle.”

“I’m smarter than I thought.”

Logical

“Why does the phone always ring when you’re in the bathtub? Why has the most brilliantly diabolical leader of our time surrounded himself with total nincompoops? Why…?”

Family

“Miss Teschmacher, when I was six years old, my father said to me… ‘Son, stocks may rise and fall. Utilities and transportation systems may collapse. People are no damn good. But they will always need land, and they will pay through the nose to get it.”

“Lenny, I’ve always considered you the Dutch elm disease of our family tree…”

“Let’s just keep your IQ a family secret, okay?”

“Lenny, my loud mouthed nephew, he gets his energy from the sun. Without it, he’s like you at night… useless.”

Location, Location, Location

“Do you realize what people are shelling out up there for a few miserable rooms off a common elevator? What more could anyone ask?”

“Bye bye, California. Hello, new West Coast, my West Coast. Costa del Lex, Luthorville, Marina del Lex, Otisburg… Otisburg? Otisburg? OTISBURG?”

Getting Along with Others

“Not on your life, Otis, which I would gladly sacrifice, by the way, to the opportunity of destroying everything that he represents, huh? And Otis, the next time put my robe on after I’m out of the pool.”

“M as in moron, Otis? No, that’s N! N as in Neanderthal, nincompoop, nitwit! And L as in ladder!”

“Otis, would you like to see a long arm? Otis, would you like to see a very, very long arm?”

“How would you like the experience of being thrown out of a moving vehicle?”

“Otis, your brain defies every known scientific law in its infinite capacity to deteriorate. Every man has his vulnerable point. Some, like you, Otis, have more than one.”

“Slasher Fogelstein is a bedwetter.”

“Miss Teschmacher, funny is someone trying to smile without any teeth.”

“Even with all of this accumulated knowledge, when will these dummies learn to use a door knob?”

“The guy’s a clod. You think you know a guy, huh? Promises were made, gifts exchanged… I don’t know what to think anymore.”

An Admirer of Architecture

“It’s fantastic! The structure goes beyond any known architectural theory. It’s beautiful. The place is a genius.”

“Door was always open for me.”

“Don’t go in there, General, it’s a trap. It’s a molecule chamber. It makes people like you into people like me.”

The Negotiator

“I can give you anything you want. I can give you the brass ring, unlimited freedom to maim, kill, destroy… plus Lex Luthor’s mind, Lex Luthor’s savvy, Lex Luthor’s career guidance, Lex Luthor’s school of better reunions…”

“O Magnificent One, what I am bargaining with is what you do not have… the son of Jor-El.”

“Well, General, the world’s a big place. Thank goodness my needs are small. As it turns out, I have this affinity for beachfront property… Australia!”

“It’s Australia, it’s too much, right? Okay, forget it. I can turn over a new leaf, a tree, a whole forest…”

“We can be partners, 60-40. All I ask is ten percent… eight percent… let’s negotiate, percent! Three… two… one!”

“Remember my motto: the more fear you make, the more loot you take. And the more missiles you guys sell…. (for) a tiny commission. Something appropriate. A number with a lot of zeros behind it.”

Pet Lover

“You really ought to have that fixed.”

“You know, you’re a workaholic. You’re playing the good guy 24 hours a day. Why don’t you stop and smell the roses, huh? Get yourself a hobby, a pet… a kitten, a puppy?”

A Literary Scholar

“Oh Lord, you gave them eyes, but they cannot see, nor can Superman through lead.” (excerpting from Psalm 115:5, 135:16)

“Good night, sweet prince. Parting is… inevitable.” (excerpting from Romeo and Juliet)

“Y’all come back and see us now, y’hear?” (excerpting from The Beverly Hillbillies)

Parting Words

“You were great in your day, Superman, but it just stands to reason. When it came time to cash in your chips, this old diseased maniac would be your banker.”

“I want to propose a toast to a nice guy who’s about to finish last.”

It’s All in the Perspective

“Miss Teschmacher, some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it’s a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.”

Lifelong Goals

“Thanks to the generous help of the United States government, we are about to be involved in the greatest real estate swindle of all time.”

“Those alpha waves will take me north to his secret. And when I have his secret, I’ll have Superman.”

“Lenny, you pathetic prodigy of the public school system, your uncle Lex has had nothing on his awesome mind since he’s been incarcerated except for one thing: destroy Superman!”

“If we work together, we can make the world safe for war profits…. I, Lex Luthor, the greatest criminal mind of the modern era, have discovered a way to destroy Superman.”

“I’ll introduce him to his first nightmare… a nuclear man. He’ll pierce his skin, he’ll become mortal. He’ll become sick, we’ll dance on his grave.”

“When I escaped from prison, I had one thing on my mind: the end of Superman…. With this guy, and you gone, I’m going to make a fortune rearming the world.”

Which leaves me asking you one question: is it too good to be true, or is it too true to be good?